Monday, November 21, 2011

A New Beginning

As I sit here tonight, finally writing the post I've waited two long months for, I smile with content. Although the road has been rough, I feel awkwardly at ease now that I am here. And although every day brings about new worries and a new reason to panic, I am encouraged and hopeful that all will end the way it is supposed to.

I'm finally pregnant. I have been for two months now. And I feel incredible - emotionally anyway. I thought I was going to skate through my first trimester without any morning sickness; however, by week 10 I have all but expelled everything I've eaten in the past year. Thank goodness there are only a few more weeks in my first trimester because I have already lost 10 pounds! Although you wouldn't be able to tell - my belly looks as if I've been pregnant for four months. I suppose that is what happens when you are on your fourth pregnancy.

Sometimes it feels surreal. Sometimes I forget there's a tiny child growing inside of me. And sometimes I forget about the terrible events of my last pregnancy. Surprisingly, this hasn't been as terrible as I thought it would be in regards to fear. I have my moments (as does my husband, so I found out last night). But I am not finding myself thinking of the previous loss as often as I thought I would.

I didn't even think I was pregnant. I spent the entire weekend before my period was supposed to be here on the couch in utter despair. I was crabby, emotional, and felt as though I would be met by Aunt Flow any day. Until Monday came. My husband left for work and I was convinced that by the end of the day, I would be hysterical. But then I remembered I had one remaining pregnancy test. Just one. That I was saving for when I was sure it was going to have a positive outcome. And I had an idea.

I didn't  have much left, so I did the second alternative - I peed in a cup. Only enough to dip the stick was needed, and I figured I could make it work. The cat stood in front of me in the tiny toilet in my bathroom and watched as I made sure not to waste a drop. I began to have second thoughts as I questioned testing now versus in a few days. What did it matter? If I wasn't pregnant, it wasn't going to matter if I waited a few days. So I went for it.

And I wasn't prepared for the results. As the second line slowly developed, anxiety and excitement came over me and I couldn't hold in the sobs. I sat on the toilet in a room that began to shrink around me and sobbed until nothing was left. And all I remember is my little kitty staring at me as if I just grew a second head.

I instantly began to think of how I was going to tell my husband. He had left already to take the kids to school. I would surprise him at work, come up with some brilliantly creative idea. Instead, I called him and spilled the beans. Unfortunately, I scared him more than anything as my sobs lead him to believe I was in some kind of trouble. Once he understood what I said, the tears on the other end of the phone registered and I knew he was in the same state of disbelief that I was.

I bought two more tests on my way home just to double check. And I got the same answer each time.

So far we have seen the doctor every two weeks. We've had two visits so far and are on track for a healthy baby. I started my daily injections about a month ago and they are getting a tad bit easier every day. Later this week I will post about the shots. However, this wimpy mom needs some sleep. I will close this post with a picture of Baby Peanut #3.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Happy Halloween

Well, we had another successful Halloween this year; minus sick Tinkerbell. A few days before Halloween, Mikayla came down with a runny nose and fever. We were hoping she'd be well enough to enjoy to ghoulish festivities, but she was not.

The Friday before Halloween, however, she was able to bring treats to her classmates and enjoy a pre-Halloween shindig. The night before, Mommy slaved away making goody bags for both her and Aidan's classmates. They included sticky eyeballs, eyeball bubbles, Halloween pencils, pumpkin erasers and candy of course! Aidan's were topped with a monster sticker and Mikayla's had cute trick-or-treaters!

From what I heard, the classmates were appreciated of my late night creativity.

Friday my mom came in from Chicago. We hadn't seen her since June so it was nice to share the holiday with her.

Not from this trip - but Nana and the kids nonetheless.
Every year we get together with our dear friends and enjoy some snacks and trick-or-treating. We had the cast of Peter Pan, the cast of Rio, some skeletons, a bee, and a cute little airplane.

The Cast of Rio! - Otherwise known as the Becketts!

The Knights - expecting baby girl #3 in January

The tricks!

The treats!

Graveyard cupcakes by Lynlee's Petite Cakes

Delicious Cake Pops by Lynlee's Petite Cakes

The first house

The kids had a great time. They were pooped at the end of the night - especially my beautiful Tinkerbell. She had a fever the entire time and just wanted to sit in her stroller after this house. Good thing little brother Peter Pan agreed to take her bucket to the door to get her candy. It was great and we are already planning on next year - Adam's Family Values!

Since the wonderful Halloween weekend we have been enjoying some quiet time. Mikayla is feeling better now; however, her little brother and I have come down with the cold today. We are watching movies and sleeping on the couch together - hoping for a speedy recovery.

I'll close this post with some pictures of Aidan in his owl beenie made special by Nana.